Another Sunday and I am sitting here battling my thoughts
and choosing to see the gifts of today – whether or not they are immediately
apparent.
Saturday morning, Jonny was up early and with Mike. He began
coughing and his stomach deposited the undigested mucus it’d been saving up
with the nasty sinus infection he’s been getting over. This process of coughing
and depositing was repeated 3 more times followed each time by a bath. After
drinking mostly milk for breakfast, he deposited. I felt my heart and spirit
sink… low. I walked away to get the bath going but as the water began to fill
the tub, I began to sob and sob. It just couldn’t be bottled up anymore.
Another week.
Another Sunday morning.
Another missed worship service.
Yet another week to feel drained as I go into holiday
preparations for our trip. Why?! Why God?
I just wanted to feel refreshed and focused on You. I need You so
desperately! I can’t go another week without You! I feel like I’m running a
marathon without water stops. No cool refreshment to go back to pounding the
pavement anew.
So, as the water poured out, my soul poured out its sorrows
to my Father. My Father who is never distracted or too busy for me, my Father
who felt compassion for my hurt and counted every tear, my Father who sees me in
His image not as I see myself.
He loves me! How He loves me so!
I dried my eyes and walked back to my son who was now
calling for me. As I got down on my knees with the bucket and towel to begin
the process of cleaning, my thoughts were not of the “Happy To Be a Mom”
variety. They were more of the “Really?! Right now?! Why?” variety. Instantly, I felt a tug and all
I’ve read and written about seeing God’s gifts in every moment flooded my mind. So, I asked
myself – What can I be thankful for right now? My answer came just that fast…
His deposit was made over the linoleum; missing the carpet.
It was as if a plug was pulled, because more things came to mind.
This week, I’m going to trust Him for the water stops. I
certainly don’t see how they’re going to happen. But He does. He sees my next
“moment” where I will have to choose to see His gifts instead of my problems.
I will drink deep in those moments. Living water for my
soul.
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