Another Sunday and I am sitting here battling my thoughts and choosing to see the gifts of today – whether or not they are immediately apparent.
Saturday morning, Jonny was up early and with Mike. He began coughing and his stomach deposited the undigested mucus it’d been saving up with the nasty sinus infection he’s been getting over. This process of coughing and depositing was repeated 3 more times followed each time by a bath. After drinking mostly milk for breakfast, he deposited. I felt my heart and spirit sink… low. I walked away to get the bath going but as the water began to fill the tub, I began to sob and sob. It just couldn’t be bottled up anymore.
Another Sunday morning.
Another missed worship service.
Yet another week to feel drained as I go into holiday preparations for our trip. Why?! Why God? I just wanted to feel refreshed and focused on You. I need You so desperately! I can’t go another week without You! I feel like I’m running a marathon without water stops. No cool refreshment to go back to pounding the pavement anew.
So, as the water poured out, my soul poured out its sorrows to my Father. My Father who is never distracted or too busy for me, my Father who felt compassion for my hurt and counted every tear, my Father who sees me in His image not as I see myself.
He loves me! How He loves me so!
I dried my eyes and walked back to my son who was now calling for me. As I got down on my knees with the bucket and towel to begin the process of cleaning, my thoughts were not of the “Happy To Be a Mom” variety. They were more of the “Really?! Right now?! Why?” variety. Instantly, I felt a tug and all I’ve read and written about seeing God’s gifts in every moment flooded my mind. So, I asked myself – What can I be thankful for right now? My answer came just that fast… His deposit was made over the linoleum; missing the carpet. It was as if a plug was pulled, because more things came to mind.
This week, I’m going to trust Him for the water stops. I certainly don’t see how they’re going to happen. But He does. He sees my next “moment” where I will have to choose to see His gifts instead of my problems.
I will drink deep in those moments. Living water for my soul.