Thursday, February 9, 2012

I lift my eyes up!

There’s nothing like being stuck in the house for a week straight to force you to focus on something (anything) good that you can find in your circumstances. Even if those particular circumstances are you spraining (very painfully, I might add) your right lateral collateral tendon in an attempt at picking up the minefield of toys downstairs.

I’ve been sitting here on my rear for a week now and I’ve gotten a lot done in terms of things normally reserved for “me time”. Things like: crocheting, writing, sketching, developing characters for the series of children’s stories I’m attempting; not to mention the times of playing Super Mario Wii with my son to keep him from climbing the walls with me.

Good friends as well as family have brought meals so that we have a fridge full of leftovers that with some creativity will give us several more meals.

Today was the Star Day for Michael in his preschool class. He’s been talking about this day for months - about his show and tell item and how he is going to be the special helper. It’s also my day to bring the snack and help with the class as well. Since the Van Nazi said, "No driving for you!", my wonderful mother-in-law stepped in for me. However, leave it to me to forget to send the apple juice with the snack – even though I remembered to pack the cups. Yeah.

My amazing carpool neighbor, Joni, has filled in for me doing both runs and going along with my craziness. The kids even got to play at the awesome school playground today while she talked with a friend. I’m glad that Michael got to have some time playing outside.
My highlight of the day came as my littlest man called my name, cupped my face in his hands, and said “Wuv you, Mommy! So much!”  Then he kissed me – once on each cheek! Such a little sweetie.

So, this is me trying to preach to my soul. All I could see tonight was the dark side to all the above. My literal response is to press the keys to the letters to make the words that remind me to “Lift up your eyes. Why so downcast oh my soul?! Put your hope in God!”

It’s hard to be on the receiving end of help. It’s hard to sit and accept the fact that the “normal” won’t be done today. I have to completely ignore the fact that the downstairs looks like a tornado came through followed by a hurricane and then a tsunami completed the look. The debris of 3 kids over a period of one week is equal to that of 3 mega storms. Any mother will agree.

Instead of wallowing in the tears of pity, I have to choose to look up beyond these temporary things and see that God is using this time for something good and purposeful. 

I must not live in what I see. For the sake of my own sanity and my family, I must lift my eyes. My worth as a woman is not based in the appearance or organization of my home. I am worth something because of Christ – and only Him. He gave me His righteousness and took the dirty rags I thought were good enough. He made me – every innermost part. He knows me – in ways I can’t begin to understand. He loves me and lavishes it on me in ways too numerous to count. But I can try!

My eyes are lifted tonight and I will keep them on Him tomorrow.

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