I'm sorry, Hannah!

I had a “Whoa, I had no idea THAT’S in there!!” moment in church a couple weeks ago.

We love our church!! Harvest Bible Chapel – West Olive. It has been an amazing place of growth and unity for us. Ken Gentzler proclaims God’s Word with a precision balance of grace and truth, his latest series being Vertical Church.

As I mentioned, two weeks ago Ken was talking about “An EpicFailure – 1 Samuel 2:12 – 4:22”. Digging into the question of What causesthe glory of God to depart? which when it happens, leaves a horizontal church void of vertical-ness. Showcasing the life of High Priest Eli and his sons Hophni and Phinehas, Ken showed how there was unscrupulous leadership, unbridled defiance, unacceptable priorities, unspoken Truth, unrestrained sin, and unreal commitment culminating with the birth of Ichabod which means “the glory is gone”.

In the middle of the description, list really, of Eli’s sons’ grotesque sins against God and the people of Israel are four verses which seem to interrupt the narrative.

“Samuel was ministering before the LORD, a boy clothed with a linen ephod. And his mother used to make for him a little robe and take it to him each year when she went up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice. Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife and say, “May the LORD give you children by this woman for the petition she asked of the LORD.” So then they would return to their home. Indeed the LORD visited Hannah and she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew in the presence of the LORD.”

I felt like a load of bricks slammed into my chest when I realized the reality of this verse for a mother. Hannah literally cried and prayed for this little boy, Samuel. She begged God to give her a son and promised to give him back to serve Him. When he was weaned, she brought little Samuel to Shiloh.

And.   Left.  Him. There.

With a High Priest who couldn’t even control his own two sons… with two worthless men who were horrible examples to have a little boy follow and emulate… Hannah trusted God.  Period.  She believed that God would protect her precious prayed-for son even as she fulfilled her heart-wrenching vow.

I used to think that she was just desperate. (Forgive my ignorance!) I’ve never felt the desperation that comes with not being able to have children. I have felt desperation about other things, just not in this way. I do know that desperate women will promise desperate things. So I figured, she gave whatever she had to so she could have a baby boy. When it came time and he was weaned, I imagine her shoulders heaved and tears flowed freely as she turned and walked away leaving her one and only son for the first time knowing she would not see him for an entire year. 

That’s the part I can’t imagine. Leaving my sweet little boy.

But she didn’t really leave him. She left her Samuel safe in God’s care – in the middle of wolves decked out in sheep’s clothing. She trusted Him with her most treasured blessing.

The first implication that SHOUTS to me is the decision parents make regarding their child’s education. No matter the decision, a parent must still leave their child in God’s care. They are still walking in the middle of wolves. Whether it’s the halls of a school or the sidewalk of their neighborhood, they desperately need God to protect their minds as they process the world around them.

The second implication cries out pleading: TRUST Him and PRAY for your children wherever they are educated. When you have moments with them, look for teachable moments… just live and point them to Jesus even in your failures. Pray over them. Pray for them. Pray for the adults who have influence in their lives. Pray that God will give them what they need in the moment. Pray. Pray. Pray.

If you were to see my sermon notes, they are copious until verse 25. After that, I got lost in Hannah’s mind and heart.

Doesn’t this world seem so impenetrably dark? Worthless men and unscrupulous leadership lurk everywhere?  Unbridled defiance oozes from young people.

Well, there’s hope peeking out from this passage.

Sandwiched between “17 Thus the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the LORD, for the men treated the offering of the LORD with contempt” and “22 Now Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting” is the reminder that God is at work.

“21 …And the boy Samuel grew in the presence of the LORD”

God is at work! Darkness is as light to Him. Even with worthless men and defiant young people, He is still placing fathers and mothers, sons and daughters for such a time as this. He is at work in our schools, our neighborhoods, our state, and – even – especially – our government.

We must teach our children with our lives.

Trust Him. Period.

Pray! Pray! Pray!

So, my dear Hannah,

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for seeing you as a desperate woman who would do whatever necessary to fulfill her desire. You were desperate for God to intervene and to see Him act on your behalf. You had to have seen the worthless behavior of the priests who were supposed to be leading you. How amazing that it would be your son to eventually take their place as leader of the people. Thank you for your example: trusting God with your precious little boy.

A strong woman knows she must be desperate for God to be her strength.

Are you desperate for God to be your strength? Do you think “I know who my kids are playing with so I’m good”? Do you try to control who teaches your child in hopes of protecting your child from bad influences? Do you pray for your child – every single day? Do they know that you trust Him and your strength is found only in Him?

I’m following Hannah’s lead.

Prayer

It's a deep topic and one that will not allow us to completely plumb its depths. Essentially, it's communication with our relational God. But because we are dealing with God, we will find ourselves treading water, but never ever touching bottom.

Yet, how is it we have this need to quantify and boxify this amazing gift?! Humans have tried desperately to know God and understand Him in any way they can. We will never ever understand how God works through prayer... if it's because we pray that He works and answers... or because He is God and will not be trifled with... or because prayer ultimately proves that we are nothing and He is everything and that through Him all things exist and He exists to prove His glory... or a combination of all of the above. It really does not matter.

What matters, though, is God and who He is. When we know who He is, we can rest assured that whatever we pray will be answered in His perfect time because He is good and everything He does is for our good - His glory.

Quantifying an A+B=C formula will not give us peace of mind in understanding the ways in which God works. It will not build trust in His ways. We'll begin to create chess-like moves so He will respond in predictable ways. We forget Isaiah 55:8-9... (btw, this passage is an amazing box-buster!)
⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.

He works independently and with no need of us,
yet wants us to know He cares about what worries us.

He is completely other than us,
yet His son obediently put on flesh and bone.

He exists before the beginning of time,
yet He chose to be born and to die within the constraints of time.

We live inside this box called time. We want to control what happens to us. We embrace the fact that God loves us and leap to the incorrect conclusion that He must want to do what we ask of Him.

We are only able to believe that God loves us because our innate sinfulness has been covered by His Son's righteousness. He could never even look at us without destroying us for our sin. We come as beggars; as nothing without Him. This tiny fact is often obscured in the most well-meaning gospel messages.

We must cling to the fact that we are nothing without Him so that we can leap to the glorious conclusion that He loves us and will bring everything into our lives for one purpose to show His glory through us.

That is reason enough to pray.

The Scariest Moment of My Life

I turned around in the zoo today and could not find Jonny - anywhere. I tried to walk calmly back the way we came but broke out into a run. My pulse racing and my mind darting with bits and pieces of prayers, mostly "Oh God! Please!" was all I could muster. After searching the crowd around the stingrays and the frog exhibit, I ran back to where Mike's mom was searching near the bird feeding stand and saw her upraised hands and realized that we had absolutely no idea where he was and, scarier still, that there were numerous places he could've gone and we wouldn't immediately see him. I sprinted past the birds and around to the petting barn frantically glancing, praying to see a little blonde head with an orange Dads Rule shirt looking at some little bug he'd found. My eyes began to blur as I raced into the bark-padded area of lemurs and wallabys and almost ran over a Zoo Staff member who recognized the crazed look on my face and asked simply what my child looked like and what he was wearing. She radioed immediately and requested that I stay there with her. It was almost more than I could do - stand still and wait while my child's whereabouts is unknown and could be at that moment tearing down the ramp by the eagles - with only a small jog to the entrance of the zoo and then parking lot. "God! Please help me!" Almost immediately, her radio crackled with another staff member asking if he had blonde hair... she'd found him. Praise God! It was all I could do to keep control when I wanted to push everyone out of the way and grab my little boy. He was just outside of the wallaby exhibit where I was standing. He was looking at the eagles - then I remembered how fascinated he'd been when we'd walked past it earlier. He'd chanted "bald eagle" and "excited" over and over. When I finally saw him, he ran to me joyfully - no tears. I clutched his soft little body and kissed him over and over, praising my Father for protecting him and helping me.

Thank you God for intuitive Zoo Staff Members. Thank you God for loving me enough to teach me how much You love me. Your love is far greater than my mother's love for my son.
You are good - all the time!