Thanksgiving Edition 2011

There are so many things welling up in my heart and mind and not nearly enough space to pour it out.  God is so very good, so very faithful. In His sovereignty, He gives and takes away. His name alone is worthy of praise! My darkest place of questioning is the backdrop for His quiet Voice to remind me He is enough.

  “As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible.” Ann Voskamp

I have learned much this year from the dear author above. Her book, One Thousand Gifts, has been ever challenging. It is the one book, aside from His Book, that I refer to again and again for a bit of perspective.  She challenges her reader to see even the hard things of life as gifts – gracious gifts from a gracious God.

 52 Gifts since last November

1. My little blue-eyed boy turns four! 2. Holding a gator in Florida with cousins 3. The pouring out of ministry 4. Trusting God to open blind eyes to see their need 5. My beautiful blue-eyed girl turns six! 6. The heartache of knowing my ministry is for Him alone not the praise of man 7. My little brown-eyed boy turns two! 8. The beauty of giant snowflakes at night  9. Laughing hysterically with Jr.High girls 10. The softening of the ground and promise of life 11. Learning again the joys of the Dangerous Journey – Pilgrims Progress 12. My father survives a massive heart attack and a quadruple bypass 13. An amazing week with my siblings amidst the uncertainty of dad’s health 14. The beauty of a husband who loves and protects his wife 15. The adventure of Garage-Sale Season! 16. Hearing God remind me of His love in the dark places 17. Mike driving a float in the Foolip Time Parade!! Our Neighborhood Spoof of Tulip Time  18. Chloe and Michael’s excitement for swim lessons 19. Rejoicing as Chloe begins her journey of knowing God! 20. Mike and Michael go see CARS 2 opening night! 21. Chloe and I enjoy a Girls Night – haircuts and Wendy’s! 22. Following Mike as he follows God to a different church 23. Celebrating 8 years of friendship and marriage! 24. Trusting God as our family transitions to the new church 25. Driving lessons for each of the kids out on Lake Michigan! 26. Campfires and sweet conversations alone 27. Marveling at God’s creativity and sense of humor at Binder Park Zoo! 28. Opportunities to listen and quietly share eternal Truth 29. Chloe’s first day of 1^st Grade! 30. Michael’s first day of Preschool! 31. Alone time with my dimpled little 2 year old  32. The gift of learning God has given to each of them 33. The love of reading God has given to Chloe! 34. The gift of time to be home with them each day 35. Watching my scattered thoughts become words that fill white space 36. Discovering the fact that I’m a writer who was once a teacher 37. God’s gracious provision of a dynamic small group 38. The time to volunteer in our children’s schools and connect with their teachers 39. The challenge of Wednesday evening Men’s Group for Mike 40. Listening to Michael’s sweet understanding of God’s amazing sacrifice on his behalf 41. God busting my box wide open as I went on a Women’s Retreat where I knew not one person 42. Watching my little Michael “stunt-man” fly and be a superhero for his sister! 43. Jonny’s squishy little hands on my face each night as he says “Fanks (thanks) Mommy!” 44. Knowing with certainty that Chloe will be cuddled up on the couch with a book 45. Storing away all her little post-it notes that say “You’re the bast (best) Mommy ever!” 46. Picking Apples at our favorite orchard! 47. Making Sauce, Pies and Crisps 48. The rough hand of my best friend as we walk in the neighborhood on his birthday 49. Remembering the good as well as the hard times 50. The children’s uncontained joy when their daddy comes home each evening! 51. Choosing joy on a cloudy gray Michigan fall day 52. Seeing God’s amazing grace through it all!

As you go into this amazing time of remembering, make your own 52 List.

Happy Remembering & Happy Thanksgiving!

Book Basket: One Thousand Gifts

One of my heroes is Ann Voskamp.

This farmer's wife and homeschooling mother of six speaks to my heart and soul when she tells of her struggle to be thankful when the pile of dirty jeans is so high it's about to topple over, when the clean floor is no longer so minutes after finishing it, when dirty dishes far outweigh the clean ones, and her fears of not fully living the life God has given her.

God has given her an amazing ability to capture with a camera and words the essence of a moment. She has been through horrific valleys; some I relate with and some I have no way to understand except by knowing how big God is. Her blog,  A Holy Experience, is one I follow closely and one I highly recommend. It's always a perspective turner for me.

In her book, One Thousand Gifts, she has a chapter called "a word to live... and die by".  In it she relates a dream where she was told she had cancer. She goes through the last goodbyes and feels panicked as she realizes how badly she wants to live. Her panic wakes her and causes her to reflect on what it means to live life fully.

"It's the life between, the days of walking lifeless, the years calloused and simply going through the hollow motions, the self-protecting by self-distracting, the body never waking, that's lost all capacity to fully feel - this is the life in between that makes us the wild walking dead." 

She goes on to talk about how people who want to live usually want to live for something. Live to see the world... cities/architecture/mountains/countries/people groups that otherwise they'd never see.

"So - more time for more what?  The face of Jesus flashes. Jesus, the God-Man with his own termination date. Jesus, the God-Man who came to save me from prisons of fear and guilt and depression and sadness. With an expiration of less than twelve hours, what does Jesus count as all most important? 

 'And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them....' (Luke 22:19 NIV)."

He gave thanks. As I was sitting in Panera last Friday evening for a little R&R, it really stood out to me. Jesus considered giving thanks (eucharisteo) to be one of the most important things He could do in His last 12 hours on this earth. Even with the betrayer present, He still gave thanks. 

If I'm honest and I had 12 hours left on this earth, I don't think I'd be concerned about giving thanks for the little things like bread. I'd, more than likely, be consumed with worry over my husband and children and making sure everything was as prepared as I could make it. I'd be soaking up the last moments of remembrance and hugs and saying goodbye. 

Serving? Nope. Exuding thankfulness and giving thanks for all things? Um... hardly. 

Christ gives us a pattern that I'm taking steps in.  Give thanks. Always. In all things. 

There are no more excuses - like "I'm having such a day with these crazy mutinous kids!" or "Why do I bother cleaning?? No one really cares. And tomorrow I'll have to do it all over again anyway." 

Ann challenges us to make a list (yes, this definitely goes along with my propensities!); looking with different eyes to see the things God has for us in every single moment of every single day.

Here are some of mine today:
- The shine of my brown eyed boy's eyes and how his dimple deepens when he sees me.
- Greasy little handprints on the front window reminding me of little hands that will leave someday
- The swaying of a neighbor's giant tree as it dances in the breeze.
- Lunch crumbs on the clean floor; God's abundant provision
- Precious time to spend stringing my thoughts together in quiet reflection
- Long eyelashes lining the blue eyes of my little man as he pulls my face close to tell me secrets.

I'm learning to count my one thousand gifts.
I challenge you to begin the journey!